A Crack in My Angel's Wall
by newcomer77
Summary: In only moments of uncontrollable hunger, Alice and Jasper's world is shattered and they struggle to pick up the pieces. Alice's POV behind Jasper's attack..and how she attempts to help him piece life and his family back together.
1. Chapter 1

Barely anyone would know what it felt like from my perspective. It's like seeing something about to happen…something terrifying. Something that would keep you up every night as you played it over and over in your head, seeing every gritty and mind numbing detail. It's like walking on the sidewalk and seeing a car crash into another…see the glass spray like ocean mist across the asphalt. Or maybe watching in frozen fear as a pedestrian desperately tries to revive a choking person on the dirty cement floor of an out door café.

You want to reach out and help, but your limbs are frozen, like they are super glued and you would need to tear yourself apart just to move. Your skin in thin ice, like if you'd flex your finger you would shatter. Yet, you wish so badly you didn't have these things holding you back so you could at least try to help. But…you can't. That's what it feels like.

The room jilted like I was being thrown into some alter universe. Maybe it was hell. I couldn't be sure. Hadn't it been just a second ago that he was standing by me, and we were both smiling at Bella? It was only seconds ago…maybe this wasn't even happening. Maybe if I could only move to blink without shattering my whole body, it would vanish. When I realized that this was harsh reality, I only wanted to rip out my eyeballs even if it was the worst imaginable pain. I would do it gladly.

I wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn't even do that. If I could have, I wouldn't have terrible images printed in my mind…reviewing them every time I blinked.

This was impossible, wasn't it? He'd just been by me…just a few moments ago! He was completely fine. I remember whispering to him, "Doing okay?" and he smiled down at me in response. I'd gazed at his face, taking in his beauty…his familiar angelic beauty. His eyes were shimmering gold in the candlelight, and he smiled just enough to show his perfect teeth, and his smooth cheeks and furrowed into dimple slits. His lips turned in such a friendly grin, and remember thinking, "He must be approachable to humans by now." The thought of my mind working like that was like pouring lemon juice on a gaping cut.

I'd raised my hand when no one was looking to brush a stray tendril from Jasper's face, feeling his marble smooth skin and impossibly soft hair. He closed his eyes at my touch, and I could see the permanent bruises beneath his eyes. I remember wondering what he had looked like healthy and pink. Like a human. The smoothness of his eyelids reflected the golden glow of the burning candles and the scent of charred wick wafted through the air.

Bella announced she was going to open the next present, and we all smiled at our frail little human. The human we brought into our family and cherished as our own. I loved her as a sister…the opposite of Rosalie though I loved her, too. A sister that didn't remind me of her beauty…a sister that had to be reminded by me. She looked so tiny in the room full of my family, yet she stood out as she glowed in happiness and reddened with blush.

If only she hadn't used a singled finger to poke under the envelope and yank it so violently. She wasn't a vampire--she didn't have unscathable skin. I think she forgot that we weren't all as composed as Edward had trained himself to be. That must've been why she looked at the blood herself, in wonder and partial disgust, and simply muttered "shoot" instead of running out the door in fear. I'd like to believe we had actually made her comfortable enough to forget we were vampires. That had to be one of her downfalls that night. Because as she stood there, unmoving, I watched Jasper's angelic face change, and it was the worst thing I'd ever seen.

I'd been in an asylum, seen shock therapies and a couple acquaintances get thrown around by the wards. This was nothing compared to the horror I felt while watching Jasper's face wash with the same terror for a split second…then he became rabid.

He blinked his blackened-bruise colored eyelids once, and the kind gold was stained by onyx black, cruel and thirsty al of the sudden. It'd been leaning on the edge for so long, and it had found a crack in Jasper's wall he had labored over to keep it in. The monster pried it open and lunged...lunged at Bella. Jasper's smile wilted to open like a gape as he saw the beckoning crimson ooze from the soft lips of skin. I vaguely remember trying to grab Jasper's arm, and actually tearing the cloth and scratching his skin. After he left my side, I retreated to my torturous frozen state.

The hairs I had carefully and lovingly brushed from his brow seconds before fell over his face, and I caught a glimpse of his demonic face. His eyes pooled with thirst, and his perfect lips curled into a terrible grimace and his long arms stretched out. His fingers clenched as he readied himself to grasp Bella…lean towards her as a growl ripped through his throat…

My angel Jasper had been kidnapped by a monster he had spent his vampire life trying to shut out. A demon had possessed my love, and all I could do was watch as it was stopped.


	2. Chapter 2

**i own nothing. Of course you knew that already, though, rite? :D Please review! The story is a little dark, but i think true love shines through in the worst situations! Ok that was a care bear moment. Moving on....**

I wondered if there was someone out there greater than us all that had a plan for Jasper, and maybe it wasn't to be good. Maybe we had defied a greater being when we--us…together--built ourselves up from becoming blood thirsty horrors. Maybe Jasper was in a big plan for the world, and his part was to be the menace. Could that be so? And were would I be? If not for him, I would be just as savage.

It was like my dead soul had escaped my body in betrayal, leaving me to watch my two brothers grab Jasper and restrain him. My arms hung limply as my eyes were pasted on Jasper.

He panted, his teeth bared. His hair fell around his face, his bone white face. It was twisted into features I had never seen. New shadows and creases were revealed around his eyes, and his dimple slits looked to be enhancing a snarl instead. His deep lifeless eyes stayed on Bella. The poor girl lay in a pool of broken glass, and I could smell the terrible scent of her blood that had damned us all. I loved Bella, but in that moment I had so many unforgivable thoughts on her.

Why hadn't see been careful? I'd always thought her clumsiness was a fascinating piece to her humanity, but now it cursed my love. I closed my eyes and risked shattering, risked having tiny pieces of my ivory skin mix with the clear glass. The scent was inside my throat, like a huge ball choking me, and every time I breathed in, it was like the ball lashed out with needles.

I tried to swallow, but could not. The panic built up behind the sharp ball. I didn't think Jasper could pry his eyes from Bella even if he wanted to. Surely if my eyes were open, I'd be greedily eyeing the crimson staining the floor, too. I stiffened and held my breath, waiting for this nightmare to at least subside. The sound of Jasper growling was like stabbing a long, rusty nail into my unbeating yet fleshy heart. The weak place of mine that held all my family members so securely…

I shuddered, my first move, when I heard Jasper's strong jaws clamping shut and releasing horrible animalistic noises as he did so. I wrapped my arms around myself and whimpered as the terrible sounds of my family scrambling to save Bella continued. I heard tiny slivers of glass stir as someone helped Bella up, and her limping, loud foot clomps into the kitchen. I could hear her breathing loud, her heart pounding with sweet moistness. I heard her blood trail through her spindly veins…

Only then did I open my eyes, and far too wide than I should have. I found that Jasper was still near, and the sight made me silently retch. Emmett was behind him, his arms wrapped around him in a bear hug type restraint. Jasper growled in defiance, and his white hands were clutching the door jamb. It was terrifying. He wanted so badly to stay in this room, to dash to Bella in all her blood stained clothes…

The candle wax tendons in his hand pulsed with strength, and only when Emmett heaved with all his strength did he pry off. The door jamb was left in splintered pulps where his hands had been, and the chippings sprayed across our floor. I tried to swallow again desperately, but had no luck.

Esme was the next one I saw. Her eyes looked to be watering, but I knew that wasn't possible. Her tiny hand masked her nose and mouth as her black eyes moved to the kitchen. Even from here I could hear and feel her blood moving out from her body. The scent was hurting me. I looked back to Esme, and she gave me a shamed glance before stepping outside. She'd been unable to handle the smell. Surely I couldn't stand it any longer. Why should I stay? To comfort Bella? That would be wonderful--I was choking on air in a different room from her as is.

I stepped outside after Esme and let the fresh air splash me in the face. I gagged and choked as the spiked ball shrank mercifully. Esme grabbed my arm as she leaned forth to do some violent coughing herself. It took my final might to look up at what was happening in our back yard.

Emmett held Jasper from behind still, beginning to pant and grimace from the effort. There was an unknown strength behind a thirsty vampire. It opened my wound even bigger when I saw Jasper again. He seemed to be giving up slightly, he simply tugged from Emmett instead of thrashing like an angry fish, eager to get back in the pond. I could see a few scratches on Emmett's forearms…and Jasper's claw like fingers out and ready for anyone else approaching. Jasper would feel terrible after all this…

I wished I could simply call out his name, and he would look into my warm dark eyes and snap out of it. He'd slink out of Emmett's arms and run to me, and we would patch things up quickly. That didn't happen, though. "Jasper?" I croaked. Esme looked at my sympathetically, and Emmett's face pinched, but Jasper's eyes kept to the back door. I jumped when Rosalie flung from it. Her long pale hair blew behind her, and she grimaced as she inhaled as much clean air as her dead lungs would allow. She gathered herself and looked into my eyes. Her own were consumed with bleak black, and she had halos of sallow purple beneath them.

Her face was pitying, and that was like hitting the nail protruding from my heart with a hammer. I wanted to scream at her. She mercifully turned to Emmett. "Carlisle said to take him to the forest and let him feed." she said emotionlessly.

I sighed. Would he snap out of it then? I turned back to him, and saw that he had barely registered Rosalie's arrival. Even as he was moved away, he turned over his shoulder with strain to face the ominous house containing the delicious human blood.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning!**

**This fanfic is about to INTESIFY! Yes. There will be tears (vampire tears. So not really any...) and sadness and violence and all that jazz. You my not like my interpretation of some of the Cullen's reactions--but please don't stop now. It will get better. It may take a couple chapters, though. So there you are: fair warning of the turmoil to come. Please review, though! Criticism is like compliments for me!!**

_"I've always been strong  
But can't make this happen  
'Cause I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in  
I want to breathe you in_

I'm going in, so cover me  
Your compass will, help me turn the page  
The laughing stock, I'll never be  
Because I won't let them take me"

-Breathe You In by Thousand Foot Krutch

While we ran, I tried not to think of anything. Was that possible? I decided to think of Jasper…the old Jasper. I began to recall his acts of subtle love…to block out what had happened. The pine needles crunched beneath my feet, and my shoes were beginning to tear apart as the friction flared. I let my eyes drift close and I remembered my angel in this pit of horror. The dark shapes flew past me like monsters I was outrunning. Outrunning, but not getting rid of. Faintly, over the slapping of our feet against the moist earth, I heard a car horn beep merrily…

_Jasper smiled up at the shining sun. I marveled at his glittering skin, I wished it was normal so I could see it every day at school. Every blissfully sunny day. His hair ruffled in the wind and his lips curled mischievously at me. I giggled back, my own hair raising from my forehead._

_We shot down the country road fifty above the speed limit, yet it was unbelievably soothing. We rode in Rose's shiny red convertible, the top down, the scent of fresh pine lingering with the chalky dirt. The mountains dozily crept by us, and the sun was like a lemon-yellow balloon tied to our bumper._

_The music was faint and unheard over the delightful country sounds. The birds shot above us, perching on telephone wires. The breeze was clean and superbly warm. I let my shimmering white arm hang out of the car, moving it like the air was brilliant blue waves. Up and down my hand swam, contrasting against the brilliant green hills._

_Jasper was staring at me when I withdrew by wind blown hand. His eyes were huge it seemed, his feeling bore beautifully inside them, pooling with affection. I smiled calmly at his intense yet lovely stare. I didn't worry about him watching the road. His hand was placed firmly on the wheel, maneuvering swiftly._

_We began to pass some trees on the edge of the road after a long stretch of naked ditches. The leaves were so close I could reach out and touch their waxiness. I rose my hand at the silent offer, letting the soft tips whisper against my palm. I smiled up at the blue cloudless sky, and withdrew a contended sigh. I let my chin point to the heavens, the wind cool my long white throat._

_I heard a twig snap, and I opened one eye flirtatiously at my lover. He smiled at the flower in his hand, a flower from a high tree. The spring blossom lit with the glow of his diamond skin. The petals looked pillow soft, the color cream pink. I smiled at him, letting my teeth reveal. He smiled back, and I almost froze in amazement. He tucked the flower behind my ear, the short stem rubbing the hollow of my jaw. _

_"You'd better pull over or you won't be able to see the road." I whispered to him, keeping the hand he'd used to give me the flower. I kissed each knuckle as he silently twirled the wheel so we rested on the shoulder of the road, kicking up dry dust._

_I pulled the hand closer and leaned over to him. His hand snaked up to my face, cradling the side of it as my lips met his eagerly. I roped my arm around his shoulder, excitement growing from my calm mood. I twisted my wrist to burrow my fingers in the softness of his hair, it was twinkling with strands of pure gold. The feathery touch of it tickled my fingers as I gripped them, refusing to let his face go._

_His hand stroked the apple of my cheek as I began to smile through the kiss. I brought in my other arm, pulling closer. Luckily, I'd unbuckled as we had stopped or else it would have stopped me from reaching him. I curled next to him, leaning against his long body. My left foot nestled in the same space as his, hooking ankle to ankle with him. My eyes were closed, letting the sun beat on them. There was never a more perfect moment. _

_I suddenly realized that my other foot was awkwardly reaching in the faraway passenger space, and I went to move it without disturbing the kiss. I found that the seatbelt had wrapped around it, the tough fabric rubbing on my skin. I moved away from Jasper's face by a millimeter, trying to free myself. I awkwardly twisted my ankle, and frustrated, turned to look at it. I unhooked it, angry that I had to stop the wonderful kiss. His hand lingered on my face, and I brushed it lovingly, immediately smiling. _

_When I turned to face his angelic sparkling visage, my smile disappeared._

_He was looking at me, studying me. Not the way he normally did; not studying my body, my face...in a loving way…but like a predator looks at his prey. Looking for weaknesses and planning an attack. His skin was not sparkling…it was dull bone white, and his gaze looked on in my frightened gold eyes. In me…in my dead soul's depths…_

_They were deep onyx. His eyes were flat black, no shine or life. One half of his smile pulled up grotesquely and unnaturally. The gleam of his razor sharp teeth shook me. They peered from the soft pink lips I'd just been kissing. The soft warm wind became piercing and cold, and it sent my flower tumbling from my hair, lifeless and harsh._

_I felt cold as his smile grew wider and he reached out...not to caress my skin or brush away my bangs… but to snake around my arm like a steel bar. Unmovable._

_"Jasper! Let me go-_-" _I managed to say before I heard the doors lock and his teeth to clamp. And clamp. Closer and closer, snapping like a steel trap. I heard my belt buckle, the gray fabric becoming just as steely as his hand…_

"Alice?"

Rosalie looked at me, her brow furrowed with worry.

I put a hand up to cover my loud sobs. I realized she had me stopped, hands on my arms. I shook away from her violently, shuddering, ashamed and scared at the same time.

We were in a clearing, and I knew Jasper was near, yet I made no move to go to him, wherever he was. I closed my eyes and looked at the forest, dark and ominous, and it gave me more comfort.

**You still there? Haha i hope so! Sorry that was a little gritty to have alice be scared of jasper. Surely it was a small portion of time, but i can't say i believe alice was never afraid. Don't worry--they are closer in the next chapter. Review if you want it soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

"How I wish I could surrender my soul; Shed the clothes that become my skin; See the liar that burns within my needing. How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold. How I wish I had screamed out loud, Instead I've found no meaning. I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain, All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble."

-James Blunt

Tears & Rain

His hand wrapped around my arm, pulling me close. I gasped at his sudden movement, and remained still as he buried his face into my chest, shaking. I sat there, still, wishing to forget the nightmare I'd had while running into the forest.

Over Jasper's shoulder I eyed Rosalie, her darkening eyes glinting with bitterness. I mouthed, "Go." She grimaced, and made a face to suggest she wasn't near done with him. Emmett moved to touch her arm. Her eyes fell with slight shame, but mostly reluctance. They stood up, needles falling from them. Emmett's eyes cast on his brother pitifully. Rosalie's eyes were poison. I touched the back of Jasper's head as if to protect him from their unkind emotions. They ran off.

"Jasper. Talk to me." I pleaded. He was trembling in my arms, keeping the sobs from wracking him. When it came to his weakness, he was far to proud to show how ashamed he was. I knew he'd have to bark out a sob sooner or later; I could feel them building up in his chest now as I held him. His fingers clutched my arm, the tips digging in. I let him squeeze as hard as he needed to. I stroked his head, not knowing what else to say.

"You know it's not your fault." I said sternly. I knew the way his mind worked. He was probably so far down in self-loathe it would take forever to pull him out…to break the surface. Rose sure hadn't made things easier, and I knew Edward wouldn't be too quick in forgiveness.

Jasper shook his head to the previous statement. He was suggesting it was all his fault. We tightened our grips around each other, gathered cloth in our hands, panting. We were like a large white pretzel of desperate hands and needful arms on the forest floor.

He let a strong gasp out and immediately clamped shut, stunned to freeze at his mistake. I rubbed my arm up and down his back, cooing, "Shh. It's not your fault. You couldn't help it. They don't understand." I lightly strung my fingers through his hair, matted with blood and riddled with needles. I knew I'd feel sore if I wasn't a vampire from all of this turmoil.

I moved from side to side, not knowing what to do still. I began to sing.

I sang for Jasper as he hid his face from the world, hid his sobs from me. I sang in a whisper into his ear. I noticed a crescent shaped scar below the ear, in the hollow of his jaw. How many times had I kissed his there…?

The song wavered and drew out in my breaths, and I hit the high notes to sooth him. I could feel his silent awe at my words in the way he loosened grip. The shaking began to subside, and I dared to lean away from him and look into his face. As I did, he gripped my arm with sudden fierceness and didn't move from his crouched position. "Alice…Don't leave me." he whispered, his voice breaking.

I nodded to myself and only held him tighter, rocking him gently. I talked to him for many hours that night. I sang for him, I assured him, I stroked his hair and rubbed his back. His back felt like a rock, stiff with tension and quaking gently with fear. I rose my head and sang to him, gazing at the moon. It cast a dim blue-gray light on the forest, but down below, in the thick trees, it didn't reach us. We were alone together in the darkness.

Finally, I was surprised to find he was the one to move away. His eyes were gold, the pockets beneath them nearly black. I was stunned by his tired angst-ridden face. His lips were down turned…it looked permanent. Would I ever see his beautiful smile again? The one that put angel's visages to shame? I knew vampires didn't age, yet his face looked too old. His skin looked not white, but moth gray. His cheeks were sallow, his face one shade except the halos of charcoal beneath his wary eyes.

He said nothing. He only looked at me. I only looked back, until I found the silence maddening and kissed his cheek. He gasped as I leaned so close to his ear and whispered, "I love you." I drew back to his wide eyed but otherwise expressionless face. He said one word, but with that word, he yanked the nail from my heart cruelly and stabbed it into a fresh new area.

"Why?"

I felt my own eyes widen. "Because you are stuck with me. I found you, you found me. We needed each other." my voice took on a fiercer tone than intended. When he looked down, I grabbed his chin and stared at him unblinkingly. "We still need each other." I emphasized. "I don't care about your flaws, Jasper Whitlock. How many times must I say that?"

He grimaced. "You said that when I slipped up on some human. We hadn't met before. You would hold me and tell me it was alright, that I was still learning. That it was bad, but it was one life and that's all. But you never had to tell me it was alright that I attacked your best friend. That my two seconds of human blood satisfaction was worth losing the life of your friend." I think his loss of the built up air made it come through--a single sob, quavering and heartbreaking.

Remaining close to his face, I kissed his cheek, not exactly gently, but not lacking sincerity. I pushed his face to my lips, closing my eyes as his smooth skin brushed the tip of my nose. He sighed brokenly, and I took his head in both hands, keeping my lips to his face, wary and ashamed.

The needles snapped in half as my knees pushed through them to get to Jasper. I kept him locked to my lips, whispering over and over to him, muffled by his skin…how much I loved him.

His fists flexed each time I said it.


	5. Chapter 5

**OK, reviewers. Here's the low down. I have four chappies cranked out for this story--this being the FIFTH, and i need to know one thing: GO or STAY? I have half of this story already typed up in word doc--but do you guys want it? Not to be all booty-tickled about it, but i'd like to know what you guys are thinking. If you don't like it--tell me! I get more out of it than you not telling me a thing of fear of hurting my feelings. I KNOW there are people out there reading it--i've checked the traffic and people are adding it to their fav. stories. SO PLEASE REVIEW THIS CHAPTER!** **expolsion over.**

t had to be well past midnight when I silently stood up. Jasper caught himself from falling face first into the black ground, for I had been what he was leaning on. His gorgeous topaz eyes glimmered in the light--all I could see. Two agonized orbs…

"Please come home with me Jasper." I said quietly, not expecting him to go quietly. He probably already had a different spot to shelter at for a while. His ran his white hand through his burgundy-blood streaked hair. His eyes closed, shutting away the life in the darkness. I could only see a white face and black sockets.

"Yes. We must…"

His decision surprised me. He wanted to patch things up, I could tell. It wouldn't be easy. It would take a whole lot of tape, a gallon of glue, and a thousand stitches to fix this mess. But together, we could make it happen. I offered him my hand. It quavered in the sliver of moonlight. Waiting.

Finally, out of the darkness, a scarred hand took it, enveloping it. I smiled faintly in the bleakness, and brought him to his feet. He stumbled first, and I steadied him with my palm, pressed against his chest. He looked at the white shape on his shirt…where the black stain was. Blood. He stared at it for so long that I considered just walking silently and leading him. Finally, he took it and kissed it. I smiled again, this time however, it was broken.

Holding hands, we walked towards the house. My white hand was inside of his, protected and warm there. His was large yet silky soft…flawed only by a couple alabaster scars. We didn't speak. The nocturnal animals moved in their homes, the trees swayed in the black wind. The needles scraped across our unmoving faces. His shoes pushed away the dirt while my bare feet sunk in the moistness. I found a few pieces of my shoes on the way back.

Finally, I pulled away a naked branch to reveal the house, all the lights on. The yellow light burned our eyes, and Jasper instinctively took a step back. "Jasper, we must." I pressed, holding his hand tightly. His face looked panicked.

"I don't think I can." he swallowed, pressing a palm to his throat. His huge eyes reflected the house. The windows were like eyes watching us, waiting for us to enter it and be devoured. I shuddered, and Jasper whispered, "Don't leave my side. I beg of you."

I held up our twined hands. Our knuckles bulged from squeezing so hard, our wrist veins threading out thickly. "Never would I do such a thing." I promised. He still looked at the house like it would unearth itself and walk over on it's beams, then sit on us…crushing us… "I'm just as scared, Jasper. You feel it."

"I also feel their hate." he hissed. My eyes widened. I heard myself say stupidly, "That's not true."

"You think my ability is failing me now?" he said, pulling my close, his eyes burning. His hand squeezed even more…I felt scared for a moment. He stopped, letting my hand drop. "I'm…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…Alice. I wish I could--" I pressed a finger to his lips, yet it quaked. He closed his eyes, pained.

"I'm sorry, too." That was all I said. I had to force myself and him to walk on.

We were at the back door when I had my vision.

I froze, one foot on the stoop, my hand in Jasper's. I faintly heard Jasper call my name.

I saw Edward…with Jasper. Jasper stared at his brother's fearsome face with huge eyes. Edward's strong white hands gathered his brother's collar, the tendons rippling out. His teeth were bared, and his lips moved in a snake like way. Hissing threats. Edward leaned closer, his lips curling to reveal pale gums and razor teeth as his hands tightened around Jasper. My love stared back with fear of his brother's deep hate. He parted his lips in a face of horror as Edward pulled his collar, out of sight. Like a movie. Off the screen. I heard snarls…

"Jasper, no!"

It was too late. I had assured him that the hate wouldn't be harmful, at least. I'd been wrong. Jasper had taken a deep breath and opened the door alone--his pride again. He didn't want me for every turmoil in his hard life. He assumed it was a weather report anyway--had to be. Now I looked up and saw him be snatched into the house. I trampled up the stairs, swinging my arms furiously in attempt to get through the door.

I whisked through it, still open. The yellow light pierced my eyes and the acid smell of bleach bludgeoned my nose. I skidded on the wetness of it layered on the ground--very unvampirelike of me. I gasped, bringing a hand to my small lips.

"Edward!"

"Carlisle, stop him!"

"I won't see my sons fighting like this!" Esme's whimpering heightened.

My eyes widened in terror as my family rushed to Edward. My vision had come true, and Jasper was trying to unpry the steely fingers around his throat.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to my reviewers. Especialy Midnight Memories for giving me such great and inspiring tips. I hope this fic does a little better after using some of those suggestions--and thanks so much for making me feel better about this little experiment. Please tell me if you dislike something--I can try to fix it for the oncoming chapters. ANYTHING is open to discussion. So a HUGE shout-out for Midnight Memories. You definetly made me more optimistic about putting out new chapters.**

**So, on with the show! I'm trying to place in song lyrics that sort of match the chapter--and give me any suggestions that YOU thought of while reading any of this. I actually resorted to one of my favorite macabre musicals for this one. A little grim, sure, but obviously, this story ain't got any rainbows and sunshine. :D**

**Beware of a little family fued going on in this one. Thank you for reading and pleaser review! Good, bad, ugly, pretty--I'll take ANYTHING.**

_"If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain_

_If you cut me with a knife it's still the same_

_And I know her heart is beating_

_And I know that I am dead_

_Yet the pain here that I feel_

_Try and tell me it's not real_

_For it seems that I still have a tear to shed"_

**-Tears to Shed from Tim Burton's Corpse Bride**

It took all my might not to sit down and curl up while this happened. I heard myself scream out in surprise. Emmett moved to Edward, trying to pry him off. Carlisle darted to Jasper, holding his shoulders as he bent over, rubbing his neck. Esme stepped closer, alarmed greatly. Edward's twisted face targeted Jasper.

"You fool! You couldn't hold your nose and walk out like the rest of us? If I can muster the strength to kiss her, you should be able to hold your breath when a measly drop of blood appears!" His words cut through the air like a knife, one so sharp I could barely feel it. Only numbness. Yes…Jasper's pain was mine at this moment. I stared at Edward in horror for the words he had just screamed murderously in my love's face.

Jasper straightened out, his hand dropping from his neck. I grimaced at the gray-purple finger marks left there. "Edward…" was all he managed, and I praised him for that. Edward's eyes became slits. Jasper and I shrank from him at the same moment.

"I will have none of this, Edward. I was hoping you'd be understanding." Carlisle interjected, and I thanked God for him. Edward was getting out of hand like I'd never seen.

"I have waited for her for one hundred years…" Edward began. I opened my mouth angrily to speak, but he ignored me. I was only a whimper. "For Bella Swan. You almost took her out in a matter of seconds." The spat the finals words, making his brother flinch. The nail…the rusty nail showed to mercy to my holy heart…

Esme hissed at Carlisle to make this stop. Pleaded, really. Emmett and Rose hung back, too, eyes wide and anxious for their quarreling siblings. Jasper's face was agonized as his closest family member besides myself hissed hate-words at him. "Edward, please…"

"Put yourself in my shoes first. What if I attacked Alice?" Edward barked, and Carlisle stepped forth, laying a peaceful hand on his son's arm. My head shot up at the mention of my name. My eyebrows knitted together as I waited for Jasper's response. He sighed.

"I…I cannot tell you how sorry.." Jasper broke off, shielding his face with his ravaged hands. Edward scoffed and shook away from Carlisle. I gasped at this--everyone but Jasper and Carlisle did. My father watched his son with wary eyes as he stormed upstairs. I heard the stairwell railing crunch loudly and the pitter of wood chips on carpet. My eyes went to Jasper, then.

I ran to him while everyone stood in silence. I didn't attempt to move his face from his hands. I simply touched him, letting him know I was there. I was not leaving. Esme hovered to Carlisle, taking his arm in fright. She whispered low…

Emmett and Rose peered into each other's faces privately…speaking so I could not hear…

I couldn't stand them repeating the night's events. I wouldn't; and neither would Jasper. "Jasper, come with me." I nodded to myself at his bloodied hair and clothes. "We'll get you cleaned up and you and I can rest." I tugged at his hands until he let one slide away with torturous slowness. The one eye revealed was circled in an ugly blue and black mix…the gold dulled with weariness. I gave him my most encouraging look and led him upstairs. Our footsteps were long and tired and broken. The shards of wood was like confetti over the stairs. I sighed.

I stopped near the bathroom, turning to face him.

"Jasper."

He stared back…no--he stared through.

"Jasper, please listen to me." I pleaded.

"You cannot tell me this isn't my fault anymore, Alice."

"But it truly is not!" I insisted.

He shook his head tiredly.

"My closest brother just strangled me. Obviously I did something wrong."

I shrank back. He looked away and stepped into the bathroom, readying himself for a bath. I didn't fetch him a towel or speak to him. I simply stood in the dark hallway.

I could hear the water pouring, the pipes squeaking, the water sloshing. After five minutes, I could feel the heat from beneath the crack of the door.

I stepped up to it and turned the knob and went in to make things right again.


	7. Chapter 7

**So this chapter is sort of scandalous in a way...but i think the next one is more so. Yeah. Reviews. Very nice. Ok. Enjoy.**

_"A drop in the ocean,_

_A change in the weather,_

_I was praying that you and me might end up _

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,_

_But I'm holding you closer than most,_

_'Cause you are my heaven."_

**-Ron Pope**

**A Drop in the Ocean**

The mirrors were blank and fogged up so I couldn't see myself. I was glad for that. If Jasper looked that wary, I must look similar for we shared the same pain. The humidity brought steam, clouding my vision. I could faintly see Jasper in the tub, motionless, as if I hadn't entered. I brought a hand to my unbeating yet breaking heart and my feet took me forth.

"Jasper?" I whispered, and wondered if he could hear. The lights were dimmed down, the water looked black against the white candlelight. I began to faintly see his expressionless face. His hair was wet and dripping, his eyes closed. I heard his gentle breathing--out of habit. His head rested on the lip of the tub, his throat elongated. I tried to be silent as I pulled a stool up to sit on.

I rested the four wooden legs on the tiles. The candles around him flickered as I sat, quavering and burning off yellow light. Through the misty air, I stared into Jasper's face. He looked younger now, perhaps more relaxed or good at hiding his feelings. I didn't touch him or speak again. I only looked at him, my heart trying to spit out the nails still clogged into it.

The water was murky with soap and had a pinkish tinge from the blood washed from his hair. The candles made it look sherbet orange. I dipped a hand into the warm water. Surely it was searing hot--boiling--but of course it was soothing to us. I began to hum without realizing it…just stroking my hand back and forth in the water, the white tendrils swirling.

When I glanced back at Jasper, his eyes were open sleepily. I slowly leaned towards him, giving the chance for him to stop me if he felt uncomfortable. He didn't. He only watched intently. I placed a hand on either of the side of his face; one wet palm, one dry. I pushed his hot, moist hair from his glistening forehead. His eyes opened a little more, but the whites of them contrasted frighteningly to his bruises sockets. I hummed.

"Do you feel better?" I whispered after a while. His restful eyes opened to stare at me. His worried gold eyes pierced me. I stroked his hair, waiting. He looked away.

"I don't know." Was all he said.

"This can't go on forever." I finally told him. He gave me a questioning glance. "Edward will forgive you. I know it."

"Until you have a vision, I'm not taking any chances." His voice was tired. I sighed for him. He was afraid of Edward…not of his physical attacks, but for his unforgiveness. I pulled my chair to the end of the tub, right behind Jasper. He didn't budge. I looked down at him.

His shoulders glistened with water and steamed. The scars looked whiter than usual.

Silently, I placed my hands on his shoulders and kneaded. It was liked rubbing stones. Jasper was unmoving. After trying to massage the pain out of him, I let my hands slide into water and I leaned my face in close. I kissed the back of his neck…his shoulders. He didn't move despite the passion I was burning up for him to feel. Surely he could feel it--unless Edward's hate overshadowed it. Fearful of this, I slinked down closer, my sleeves darkening with water. I didn't care. I needed Jasper to know I was there. I cared for him and wanted desperately to prove it to him. I buried my fingers into his hair and pressed my forehead to his neck. "Jasper. I love you. Don't ever think otherwise."

He didn't speak, and it was maddening. I sighed. It was broken and uneven.

I began to cry.


	8. Chapter 8 final

I think that is what finally did it for Jasper.

Faintly, over my violent sobs, I heard the water slosh over the side of the tub. The water slapped the cold linoleum floor. I could see Jasper now facing me through my shadowy fingers. I couldn't stop, nor could I tear away my shielding hands. His arms found me.

They were hot and wet, yet I welcomed them with happiness. He was not going to become an expressionless vegetable in this horrible situation. He just broke the surface of the self-loathe to comfort me. That was a switch.

My hands ripped from my face and grasped his body, drawing him closer to me. We leaned for each other--him in the tub, me on the stool. Panting, I withdrew from his chest and stood up. I didn't care about these clothes anymore--I stepped into the tub with him. The clothes hung on me with water weight, but I ignored it and kneeled on the porcelain in front of Jasper. I buried my face into his shoulder, still shaking.

His palm rubbed the small of my back soothingly while I thought of the irony. Not long ago did I hold him while he trembled with sobs. I opened my mouth to say something--anything…but I only let out another cry. I watched Jasper cringe. I unhooked my arms to touch my face…feeling silly for attempting to wipe away nonexistent tears. He looked at me curiously. "I'm sorry, Alice. I have put you through so much tonight. You have every right to cry."

I nodded to this logic, feeling a little odd to agree. He'd get defensive if I objected, anyway.

I smiled at him weakly. I pressed my palms to his chest and kissed him. He didn't pull away or flinch. In fact, he returned my kiss. It made me so happy I began to quiver with unpouring tears again.

The water cascading off his arms splashed around me, dripping down my still dried clothes. It felt to wonderful to be in those arms…

My fingers splayed across his shoulder blades as I leaned in closer, our bodies now touching. I tried to shove all of today out of my mind: the nightmare I'd had, Jasper sobbing on the forest floor, Esme whimpering as her sons fought each other. I wanted Jasper to forget, too. Just for the time being…and focus on us.

I think he felt my longing.

His hand went to the back of my neck, bringing me closer, our noses grazing against each other. I gasped and twined my arms around his long body. I suddenly felt weighed down; I shed my wet jacket. It slapped the floor, already puddled on. I felt some scars on his back, feeling the roughness. I pulled my fingernails across his spine…

The day's horrors drifted away as we became a tangle of two white bodies. My clothes lay on the floor in black mounds, scattered everywhere. The scent of soap lingered amongst the burning candle smell. Yet, through that…I could smell Jasper's special scent.

I drew little spirals and swirls on the surface of Jasper's skin. He was in his original position, head on the lip of the tub. This time, however, I was laying peacefully across his chest.

The water surrounded us, climbing our skin at every movement. I watched it in wonder…not letting my mind stray to my memories.

Yet…I knew we would have to go downstairs someday. I knew I would have to feel hostile around Edward someday, at Jasper's side while he asked for forgiveness again. But that was someday. Someday soon. But not now.

My body wasn't tired, of course, but my mind definitely was. Though I tried to block them out, they had left a bruise on my mind; the memories. The sights. The touches. The endless hugs and endless sobs. I pressed my face to Jasper's chest. His hand ran through my wet hair. The candles suddenly felt hot. Everything felt hot. I rapidly splashed the cooled-down water on my face. I gasped as it ran down my nose and cheeks. Jasper stirred at my sudden discomfort. Surely he'd been harboring something much worse.

His arms locked around me, fastening me to his chest. I groaned, and he raised his eyebrows.

"I can't stand putting this off any longer, Jazz." I whispered, prying from his grasp. His eyebrows knitted together. He nodded. I could tell his depression state was becoming farther and farther away. I was at least glad for that.

We emerged from the bath tub, dripping wet. I slowly put my fingers around a fluffy white towel and dried off while he did the same. We stood in front of the mirror silently adjusting ourselves to go downstairs.

When he gazed at my hand and I took his…I had a vision.

Edward would forgive him. It would be alright for now.

We walked out the door and very slowly descended down the stairs.

When I heard my family's voices downstairs, I tightened my grip around his palm and smiled at him reassuringly. He felt my truth, and we met up with our family.

End.


End file.
